I’ve mentioned before that I love reading about people’s habits and schedules and enjoy The Cut’s How I Get It Done series. Their most recent interview is with Sex and The City author Candace Bushnell, who describes her schedule of waking up around 7 or 8 a.m., she doesn’t set her alarm, writing until the early afternoon and then eating for the first time at 4 p.m. She writes standing up at her adjustable desk as she says it helps her think and she gets in bed at the enviable time of 9pm. She’s writing a book about dating again in her 50s (she’s 60 and mentions having a boyfriend) called Is There Still Sex in the City? She has a lot of wisdom about having confidence in yourself, sticking to a routine, and not letting negative messages get you down. The interview is well worth reading for that, and here are some excerpts:
On her schedule
I usually get up between 7 and 8 a.m. I don’t use an alarm. I can pretty much wake up when I need to.
On not eating until 4 p.m.
I usually eat dinner early because I feel like it’s healthier, but I’m really not even hungry until 4 in the afternoon. I don’t really think about of food during the day. Then, I want to eat. I start snacking around 4 p.m. while I’m making dinner — some nuts or shrimp cocktail. I kind of pretend I have a family, but it’s just me and the dogs … I cook dinner and I watch the evening news and I’ll have a glass of wine or two.
On her new book, Is There Still Sex in the City?
I wanted to call it “Middle-Age Madness” because it really started with certain things that happened to me in my 50s: I got divorced, my mother died a couple years ago, and all the sudden it felt like there was something in the air telling me I had to change my life. And I noticed it happening to a lot of my other friends as well. You know, when you’re 35, you don’t think about what your life is going to look like in your 50s, and the thing that people don’t realize is that your life can look very, very different than what you imagined. So, [the book is] really about all of these changes, and dating again in your 50s, and starting over… It’s also a really funny book. It’s all about the changing paradigms. There’s a question of, do you even want to have a partner? Are there times in one’s life when you’re better off without one?
On self-discipline
You have to put the drama on the page and not in your life so I’m very disciplined. I write seven days a week. I try not to take [time off] because once I stop writing, it’s really hard to get back into it again.
One mistake she’s made in her career
At the beginning of my career — and maybe through all of it — is not having enough confidence. Too much beating oneself up and absorbing negative messages. When I first started out in the ’80s and ’90s there were a lot of negative messages toward women. I was told nobody will want to publish a book about a young woman in New York City. That was before Sex and the City. I guess I wish I knew a little bit better not to listen to the negative voices out there. And sometimes it’s just easier to listen to the negative voices.
The way she eats is intermittent fasting, but she never says that and she presents it like a choice, which it may be for her. I wake up at 5 a.m. and force myself to wait until 8 a.m. until I eat anything. I don’t know why I made this a habit but I must assume it saves calories. If I followed her schedule I wouldn’t eat until about 2 p.m.!
I love what she said about having confidence in yourself and not focusing on the naysayers. She also talked about dating apps and dating as an older woman, and said that even for younger women it’s hard and is a big time investment. I really like how she posed the question of whether you want a partner or if you’re better off without one. That reminds me of something Rita Moreno said, that she would rather eat glass than get married again. A lot of women feel that way.
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